Chip Happens

Oh, you didn't know? I'm a lady who lunches now. And today I lunched in Park Slope with Megan, Victoria and the wee baby Willem. I made these peanut butter chocolate chip bars because, please, I have manners. (Also, this recipe is in contention for the Cookie for Kids' Cancer Bake Sale at the Brooklyn Flea on May 7!)

I adapted this recipe from Bake at 350 and I cut about 1/4 cup of sugar, and they were still sweet without being, you know, toooo cavity inducing.

Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Bars

6 tablespoons butter
1/2 cup smooth natural peanut butter
1/2 cup organic sugar (the refined white stuff freaks me out)
1/2 cup light brown sugar
1/2 cup egg substitute
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup garbanzo flour
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
1 teaspoon baking powder
3/4 cup chocolate chips (I don't like things toooo chippy)

Mix together the butter and peanut butter, then add the sugars. Blend in the eggs and vanilla, then mix in the dry ingredients. Spread into an 8x8 glass pan and bake at 350 for about 35-40 minutes. Cut up. Place in adorable printed bags. Lavish upon friends. Graciously accept praise.

gimme s'more

When my book club last met (and I use the term "book club" loosely, as it implies that the members have read), we were in theory meeting to discuss The Russian Debutante's Handbook, which I bought for a penny on Amazon. The icky main character, Vladimir, is a Russian immigrant who grew up in Westchester. Vodka-and-caviar tarts sounded adventurous, but instead I opted for chocolate marshmallow cupcakes. After all, what is more suburban than marshmallows? I really didn't like the book, but the cupcakes weren't bad.

Start with chocolate cake mix and prepare as directed. If you're not feeling lazy, make it from scratch.
Mix and pour into 12 muffin cups.
Oops...might have poured a bit too much. Anywho, when they are are about five minutes from being done, remove from the oven and press a marshmallow into the center of each cupcake.
Return the cupcakes to the oven for about three more minutes. Remove from the oven again and press down on the marshmallows with the back of a spoon. Put them back in for a few more minutes or until the cupcakes are done. Eat. Enjoy. Do a shot.

eating, not baking

You know the tired old saying, "If you can't take the heat, then stay out of the kitchen"? Well, I couldn't, so I did. Plus, when you live in a studio, the kitchen is like your whole apartment. Anyway, I spent the last month eating frozen yogurt instead of baking (like above Mel-o-Creme deliciousness), but now I'm back and my cup(cake)s runneth over with new treats. Get excited.

blue(berry) light special

Summer is that fleeting season where blueberries are sweet, fat, and not considered an aspirational purchase. I buy the antioxidant-packed little balls of happiness in multi-pound containers, so after I saw this recipe on Food Porn Daily, I had to whip up a version of my own.
Blueberry Peach Cornmeal Bread
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup cornmeal
3 teaspoons baking powder
1/8 cup sugar
1/8 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup egg whites
1 cup buttermilk
1/2 stick unsalted butter, melted
1 cup blueberries
1 peach, peeled and chopped

Preheat oven to 350. Mix together butter, sugars, buttermilk, and egg whites. Stir together flour, cornmeal, and baking powder and slowly add to the butter mixture. Slowly pour butter, sugars, buttermilk, and egg whites into dry ingredients. Fold in blueberries and peaches.
Pour batter into a greased loaf pan and bake for about 35 minutes or until knife inserted into the center comes out clean. Cool, slice, and modestly accept massive praise.
Baking tunes: "Blueberry Hill" by Fats Domino. Obvi. Inspired in part by Richie Cunningham.

super sweet 16 (plus 19)

Here's what I remember about turning 25: aside from the random guy my friend met in the toothpaste aisle at CVS that afternoon showing up to my birthday dinner, I recall freaking out about hitting the arbitrary milestone that is quarterlife. So I drank. I can't imagine what kind of frame of mind I'll be in when I celebrate the tenth anniversary of my 25th, as my friend recently did. In addition to libations, some serious frosting will be required, like these cupcakes that I made for her very civilized, (sort of) grownup birthday dinner at Beast.
Punk Cakes
2 cups flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 cup butter, softened
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup egg whites
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 375°F. Line 12 muffin pans with paper liners. Cream butter, sugars, eggs, and vanilla. Stir in flour, salt, and baking powder. Spoon batter into muffin tins and bake about 25 minutes.
(recipe adapted from cooks.com)
Buttercream Frosting
1 cup margarine or butter, softened
3 tablespoons milk
4 1/2 cups confectioners' sugar
Food coloring (optional)

Cream the butter with an electric mixer and add sugar and milk. Add more confectioners sugar or milk for a thicker or thinner consistency. Add food coloring if desired (I added a few drops of yellow).
The essence of punk cakes lies in the spiky decor. Add enough powdered sugar so that the frosting is on the thick side, then spoon it into a plastic pastry bag and snip about 1/2 inch off the end (no attachments necessary). Squeeze blueberry-sized blobs and pull up to create a point. I got this idea from the delicious genius of Lola Cookies & Treats in Leesburg, Virginia.
Baking tunes: In honor of the birthday girl's new Brooklyn digs, "Electric Feeling" by MGMT. It just makes you happy. Unless there's something wrong with you.

cupcake grande

As a woman, I'm genetically programmed to find miniature versions of everyday objects adorable. Espresso cups, Mini Coopers, airplane bottles of Sutter Home... Howevs, I cannot deny my fascination with comically gigantic versions of common items, like humongous cupcakes.
Still, as delightful as I find the giant cupcake, there's one problem: it's...giant. And isn't the beauty of a cupcake the fact that you don't have to share?

america, f*ck yeah!

In honor of Hillsies' triumphant return from the Chile, I made her the most obnoxiously American dessert I could think of: Cool Whip Flag Cake. In the Midwest, Cool Whip is practically a food group, so this was an excellent opportunity to share my culture. What goes with flag cake? Wine. Lots and lots of Chilean wine.
Instead of the heinous-sounding combination of sliced pound cake and Jell-O with suspended fruit, I whipped up this lemon cake from joyofbaking.com. Then I spread on a thick layer of Cool Whip and topped with sliced strawberries and blueberries. That’s all the instructions I’m giving, because if you can’t figure out flag cake, then you probably can’t be trusted around kitchen appliances.