gimme s'more

When my book club last met (and I use the term "book club" loosely, as it implies that the members have read), we were in theory meeting to discuss The Russian Debutante's Handbook, which I bought for a penny on Amazon. The icky main character, Vladimir, is a Russian immigrant who grew up in Westchester. Vodka-and-caviar tarts sounded adventurous, but instead I opted for chocolate marshmallow cupcakes. After all, what is more suburban than marshmallows? I really didn't like the book, but the cupcakes weren't bad.

Start with chocolate cake mix and prepare as directed. If you're not feeling lazy, make it from scratch.
Mix and pour into 12 muffin cups.
Oops...might have poured a bit too much. Anywho, when they are are about five minutes from being done, remove from the oven and press a marshmallow into the center of each cupcake.
Return the cupcakes to the oven for about three more minutes. Remove from the oven again and press down on the marshmallows with the back of a spoon. Put them back in for a few more minutes or until the cupcakes are done. Eat. Enjoy. Do a shot.

eating, not baking

You know the tired old saying, "If you can't take the heat, then stay out of the kitchen"? Well, I couldn't, so I did. Plus, when you live in a studio, the kitchen is like your whole apartment. Anyway, I spent the last month eating frozen yogurt instead of baking (like above Mel-o-Creme deliciousness), but now I'm back and my cup(cake)s runneth over with new treats. Get excited.

blue(berry) light special

Summer is that fleeting season where blueberries are sweet, fat, and not considered an aspirational purchase. I buy the antioxidant-packed little balls of happiness in multi-pound containers, so after I saw this recipe on Food Porn Daily, I had to whip up a version of my own.
Blueberry Peach Cornmeal Bread
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup cornmeal
3 teaspoons baking powder
1/8 cup sugar
1/8 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup egg whites
1 cup buttermilk
1/2 stick unsalted butter, melted
1 cup blueberries
1 peach, peeled and chopped

Preheat oven to 350. Mix together butter, sugars, buttermilk, and egg whites. Stir together flour, cornmeal, and baking powder and slowly add to the butter mixture. Slowly pour butter, sugars, buttermilk, and egg whites into dry ingredients. Fold in blueberries and peaches.
Pour batter into a greased loaf pan and bake for about 35 minutes or until knife inserted into the center comes out clean. Cool, slice, and modestly accept massive praise.
Baking tunes: "Blueberry Hill" by Fats Domino. Obvi. Inspired in part by Richie Cunningham.

super sweet 16 (plus 19)

Here's what I remember about turning 25: aside from the random guy my friend met in the toothpaste aisle at CVS that afternoon showing up to my birthday dinner, I recall freaking out about hitting the arbitrary milestone that is quarterlife. So I drank. I can't imagine what kind of frame of mind I'll be in when I celebrate the tenth anniversary of my 25th, as my friend recently did. In addition to libations, some serious frosting will be required, like these cupcakes that I made for her very civilized, (sort of) grownup birthday dinner at Beast.
Punk Cakes
2 cups flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 cup butter, softened
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup egg whites
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 375°F. Line 12 muffin pans with paper liners. Cream butter, sugars, eggs, and vanilla. Stir in flour, salt, and baking powder. Spoon batter into muffin tins and bake about 25 minutes.
(recipe adapted from cooks.com)
Buttercream Frosting
1 cup margarine or butter, softened
3 tablespoons milk
4 1/2 cups confectioners' sugar
Food coloring (optional)

Cream the butter with an electric mixer and add sugar and milk. Add more confectioners sugar or milk for a thicker or thinner consistency. Add food coloring if desired (I added a few drops of yellow).
The essence of punk cakes lies in the spiky decor. Add enough powdered sugar so that the frosting is on the thick side, then spoon it into a plastic pastry bag and snip about 1/2 inch off the end (no attachments necessary). Squeeze blueberry-sized blobs and pull up to create a point. I got this idea from the delicious genius of Lola Cookies & Treats in Leesburg, Virginia.
Baking tunes: In honor of the birthday girl's new Brooklyn digs, "Electric Feeling" by MGMT. It just makes you happy. Unless there's something wrong with you.

cupcake grande

As a woman, I'm genetically programmed to find miniature versions of everyday objects adorable. Espresso cups, Mini Coopers, airplane bottles of Sutter Home... Howevs, I cannot deny my fascination with comically gigantic versions of common items, like humongous cupcakes.
Still, as delightful as I find the giant cupcake, there's one problem: it's...giant. And isn't the beauty of a cupcake the fact that you don't have to share?

america, f*ck yeah!

In honor of Hillsies' triumphant return from the Chile, I made her the most obnoxiously American dessert I could think of: Cool Whip Flag Cake. In the Midwest, Cool Whip is practically a food group, so this was an excellent opportunity to share my culture. What goes with flag cake? Wine. Lots and lots of Chilean wine.
Instead of the heinous-sounding combination of sliced pound cake and Jell-O with suspended fruit, I whipped up this lemon cake from joyofbaking.com. Then I spread on a thick layer of Cool Whip and topped with sliced strawberries and blueberries. That’s all the instructions I’m giving, because if you can’t figure out flag cake, then you probably can’t be trusted around kitchen appliances.

bake like it's 1986

Maybe it’s a result of growing up amid the fluorescent flash and permed excesses of the ‘80s, but I have a serious obsession with kitschy novelty items. My namesake, who not only is aware of my penchant but encourages it (see purple plastic dangly airplane earrings from Thailand), sent me a link to HeyYoYo. Shockingly, the oh-so-'80s merchandise lives up to the the awesomeness of the name with its quirky cupcake toppers and decorations, which, if I was a few decades younger, would totally double as Barbie home accessories. Let's get our New Wave bake on.
Pop cans on sticks! That's right -- not soda, pop. And pop so vintage it pre-dates Crystal Pepsi.
Sigh. Reminds me of acid washed jeans and sweaty-handed couple skates at Ohio Skate, Toledo's pulsing pinnacle of preadolescent romance.
I totally would have wanted to link these boxes of cereal and assorted carbs to my charm necklace. In fact, I might...

not live fish

In anticipation her trip to Korea (read: many weeks of eating unidentified fish), my friend requested a last dessert of sorts: a batch of simple, choco-tastic brownies. I opted for this arrogant-sounding recipe from my mom. 맛있는 (delicious).

The Very Best Brownies

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, melted
1 1/2 cups sugar
7 tablespoons cocoa
4 eggs
1 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup chocolate chips (or nuts, both optional)

Heat the oven to 350F F. In a medium-size bowl, mix together the butter, sugar, and cocoa.

Add the eggs one at a time, blending after each addition. Add the remaining ingredients and mix them together just until well combined.

Pour the batter into a greased 9-by-13-inch pan.
Bake for 20 to 25 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. Allow them to cool for 15 minutes before cutting.
Baking tunes: Uber American. Think Bryan Adams John Cougar Mellencamp. That's right -- the Cougar stays.

coco-nutty

For my friend Heather's birthday picnic, I decided to give a nod to Ziggy Marley with these coconut cupcakes from Simply Recipes.

Coconut Cupcakes with Coconut Cream Cheese Frosting

Here are the ingredients:

Cupcakes

• 3/4 cup of unsalted butter, room temperature
• 1 1/4 cup of sugar
• 3 eggs, room temperature
• 1 cup of canned coconut milk
• 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
• 2 1/4 cups of flour
• 1 teaspoon of salt
• 1 teaspoon of baking powder
• 1/2 cup of sweetened desiccated coconut

Frosting

• 1/2 cup of butter , room temperature
• 8 oz of cream cheese , room temperature
• 1/2-1 cup of powdered sugar (or more for consistency)
  
• 1/4 cup of sweetened desiccated coconut
• a few drops of yellow food coloring (optional)

The recipe advised against using light coconut milk. I didn't read that part until coming back from the grocery with light coconut milk. Still good.
I prefer to fold in the coconut by hand instead of using a mixer. Because I'm old school like that. Instead of making 20 small cupcakes, I opted for 12 big guys and six minis. To share.I added a little yellow food coloring to the frosting to make them a little more festive for Heather's 3.1.
After frosting, roll edges in a plate of coconut flakes. For the minis, just sprinkle on top.

Baking tunes: Ziggy's papa ("Sun is Shining") and various Virgin Islands mainstays, i.e. music that reminds you of suntan lotion, beer with lime, and charming inefficiency.

rhymes with butternut

A few years ago my friend Hillsies bought me the Field Guide to Produce because she thinks it's hilarious that I'm a vegetarian. She left the receipt inside, so I'm pretty sure she expected me to just return it, but now it's a handy resource when I see intimidating-sounding items at Whole Foods. I also learned that the word "squash" is derived from the Algonquin word "askutasquash," which means something that is eaten green or in an unripe state. So, you know, now you can enjoy these cookies on a deeper level.

Butternut Squash Raisin Cookies
1 cup margarine or unsalted butter
1 cup light brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
1/4 cup egg substitute
1 cup butternut squash puree
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon nutmeg
1 teaspoon baking soda
3 cups unbleached flour
1 cup raisins

Cream butter and sugars together until fluffy and then mix in egg. Mix in squash and vanilla.
Stir in salt, spices, baking soda, and flour. Fold in raisins.
Chill at least 3 hours or overnight. Scoop tablespoonfuls of dough onto a Silpat-ed cookie sheet and bake in a 350 degree oven for 15-20 minutes or until edges are light brown.
Remove and cool. The cookies are sweet, but next time I think I'll add cream cheese frosting. Because frosting makes everything better.
Baking tunes: The O.C. Soundtrack that I received as a kind-of joke at a white elephant exchange at work a few years ago. Oh, how I miss you beautiful So-Cal disasters.

best of the midwest

This week we had our first boozy book club meeting. As expected, we discussed the novel for a hot 10 minutes and then gossiped the rest of the time. I even read the entire thing, which I can't say for everyone (you know who you are). In honor of our selection, Gilead by Marilynne Robinson -- very good, btdubs -- I made a variation of Ms. Beulah Schott's Pride of Iowa cookies. I call them...

Son of a Preacher Man Cookies

1 cup shortening
1 cup light brown sugar
1 cup organic white sugar
1/2 cup egg substitute
2 cups unbleached white flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 cup coconut
2 1/2 tablespoons chopped almonds and peanuts
1 cup raisins
2 cups old fashioned oats
Cream shortening, sugars, and egg. Mix in the flour, baking soda, and baking powder. With a spatula (or strong stand mixer, if you have one), stir in the coconut, and oats. Chop the nuts (feel free to add more and/or other varieties) and add to the mixture. Chill for 3 hours or overnight. Once chilled, scoop spoonfuls of dough and bake in a 350 degree oven for 15 minutes or until edges are light brown. Cool. Try to think of intelligent questions about the book.
Baking tunes: Fonzie's Make Out Music. I stole it from my dad. And it's awesome.

new baby bliss

Sometimes it's hard to say goodbye. Other times, you gleefully dump your old mixer in the trash (or on top, so neighborhood scavengers don't have to dig) and happily move on to the new object of your affection. Last week I brought home a pretty new five-speed KitchenAid hand mixer and we've been having so much fun together (thanks, Mom!) I haven't quite attained my ultimate goal yet, but I feel a step closer now. Plus, it's so quiet that I don't feel bad about disrupting my neighbors at odd hours. Pretty considerate of me, right? Take note, Britney-lover in 3C.